Saturday, March 5, 2011

How Long Can I Put It Off?

I know this is going to sound bizarre, but I'm just not that excited about the whole wedding dress thing.  In fact, I kinda freak out when when someone asks those inevitable questions:  "Have you found your dress yet?  How many dresses have you tried on?  Where do you think you'll get your dress?  What style of dress are you leaning toward?"  I was totally unprepared for how common dress-related questions are, and I'm actually surprised how sad I feel that I don't have more enthusiastic responses for people.  My standard line has been to say that I'm putting it off until for as long as I can. 

I think the primary reason I'm not so into it is because I'm not that much of a shopper recently.  Some combination of weight gain and financial stress has resulted in a Ms. M that only shops for clothes about three times a year, and I don't necessarily look forward to it.  So shopping for the "most important dress you'll ever wear" is unbelievably intimidating for me. 

Furthermore, I always shop alone.  But wedding dress shopping is the kind of thing where people want to come with you.  So uncomfortable for me!

Then there are other things, like the fact that I currently always cover my arms at least down to the elbow.  No, it's not that I'm super modest.  It's just that I don't love my upper arms.  So I wouldn't want a purposefully modest gown - just one that plays up my better assets.  That means I've been looking at dresses thinking I'd need to add a shrug, which is totally fine with me (I love me some shrugs), but it's nearly impossible for me to visualize in my head how any one dress might look with an elbow-length jacket. 

Thought I was done?  I'm not.  I have reasons on top of reasons here, folks.  Okay, here's another one.  I think one-shoulder dresses are oh-so-hot and totally not traditional, but the asymmetrical look really bothers Mr. NM.  Besides the fact that a one-shoulder dress means definitely baring my arms, I don't want a wedding dress that Mr. NM thinks is weird!

...  And my list continues.  There are some dresses that have caught my eye because I think they might potentially look flattering on me.  (Ooh, did I just say something caught my eye?  Good job, Ms. M.  Excellent work.  Ease your way into demonstrating some excitement about this difficult topic.  Yay for you.)  But several of them are ballgowns - a problem for two reasons.  One, I really don't think of myself as a ballgrown type of person, whatever that means.  And two, I'm pretty sure a ballgown literally wouldn't fit down our makeshift aisle.  So I think ballgown shapes will have to be out.  (Even though the versatility of this gown below makes me rethink my thinking.)

Convinced I can't come up with any more reasons?  Oh, you clearly don't understand the depth of my self-torture.  Another thing I've found to worry about is how certain dresses will work with different hairstyles and accessories.  I'll talk more about my hair issues in another post, but basically I'm not planning to have an up-do and I would really like to sport some large statement earrings.  There are some dress styles that clearly wouldn't work with long flowing locks and obnoxiously large earrings, so I'm guessing I'll need to limit myself to dresses that could work with that even if I'm completely unsure what the hair/earring combination will actually look like. 

Next up, I worry about the color of the gown.  For over a year I've been daydreaming about the possibility of a light gray or silvery color - just something to be a little different.  Of course, searching for a non-white wedding dress is understandably limiting, and I'm not the kind of woman who ever likes to limit my options (which probably explains why I'm terribly indecisive.)

Last but not least, there's the price factor.  Our budget currently stands at $1600 for ALL apparel and accessories for BOTH of us.  I can always use my own money to go over that amount, but ideally I'd stay within budget because it doesn't really mesh with my values to spend a lot of money on a dress I'll wear for a day.  The only potential way around this would be to re-sell my dress after the wedding, which I'm totally fine with.  But even with that option, I still can't afford to pony up the kind of money needed to buy most of the dresses I see advertised out there. 

To be honest there are probably way more reasons than the ones I've written about here, but I'll spare you from this becoming any more of a downward spiral than it already is!  I think I've made my point abudantly clear - for a million and one reasons, I'm putting off figuring out the whole wedding dress thing.  For now. 

Here's my question for you, though.  How long can I put it off?  Any suggestions as to how I might make this a less tormenting process?

1 comment:

  1. I know it seems super scary to go dress shopping. I bought mine a month out from our wedding. But trying on all the different styles can be so much fun, and finding what works for you is so important. Just try it once, for an hour, and see how you like it :)


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