Friday, January 7, 2011

Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go

'Cause my wedding dreams, they make me loco.
Wake me up before you go-go.
No more nightmares tonight.
Unconscious, why oh why? 

Okay, so maybe Wham! wasn't talking about wedding nightmares when they uttered those famous lyrics.  But seriously, what were they talking about?  Who knows.  Moreoever, who cares.  Answer: no one - still a super fun song.

Where was I?  Oh yes, my (most recent) wedding nightmare.  It was a doozy right from the get-go.  The scene opened at our rehearsal, which was taking place at the wrong venue - except apparently only I noticed this.  Our day of coordinator (side note: yay!  I had a DOC in my dream!  It's a sign...) seemed to have no idea that we were in the wrong location.  After the rehearsal the entire wedding party went back to the cabin we had rented in the woods (Toto, I've a feeling we're not in San Francisco anymore).  The next morning everyone went out to take some professional pictures together, only our photographer was a really young, frumpily dressed girl I'd never met who was taking our pictures with a small point-and-shoot camera.  I was so confused, but I was also trying really hard to keep my cool - so I didn't say anything.  I wasn't informed that we were going straight to the ceremony after these pictures were taken, so all-of-a-sudden we're at the wedding and I have NONE of the necessary supplies - no dress, shoes, hair accessories, nothing.  I sent someone back to the cabin to at least get my makeup bag (Why the makeup bag as opposed to, oh, I don't know - the dress?!), and they didn't get back until it was too late.  Useless.

In the meantime, the ceremony is starting without me and I'm waiting helplessly in a back room.  I notice that none of the wedding party members are carrying flowers, either because I haven't made them or I forgot to bring them with me.  But whatever, I'm letting it go.  I'm all bridal-zen, can't be bothered.  Then my mom is there with me and she says something like, "Are you ready for me to talk you down the aisle."  In that moment I have to tell her that there's been a misunderstanding.  She's not walking me down the aisle because I'm walking myself down the aisle.  She gets angry and through my tears I'm pleading with her not to start a fight.  Not now, when I'm about to walk down the aisle on my wedding day.  But we do fight, so I miss my entrance to the ceremony. 

Trying to stay calm, I casually walk into the ceremony room and inform everyone that, because of a technical difficulty, we'll need to restart the processional from the beginning.  I promise everyone that this time I'll get it right.  As the wedding party heads back down the aisle towards me, I hear the catering manager saying that we've now over-stayed our time in this room and they will need to start breaking down the ceremony decor in order to turn over the room for the reception.  So I casually march up to him and give him a piece of my mind, including, "I'm a wedding blogger and you better believe I'm letting everyone know about this experience as soon as I get home!"  (Whoa - apparently I'm a blogger even in my subconscious.  I've really internalized this as part of my identity!)  He was unimpressed with my rant and continued creating chaos right where the ceremony would take place.  Even the DOC began trying to coordinate the chaos rather than ensuring the ceremony would take place.

Throughout all of this, my rational wedding day brain is clicking in over and over again, reminding me to just focus on Mr. NM because he's the most important part of the day.  (At least I know this even in my sleep, right?  Right!)  So I finally get my walk down the aisle, and as I do so I notice that the videographer (OMG, exciting!  I didn't plan to hire a videographer!) is recording the chaos rather than recording us and our ceremony.  Awesome.  So Mr. NM and I practically whisper our vows to each other and unceremoniously leave the room.  I don't think anyone even noticed.  

But we were married.  And even though my sleep-bride-self was overwhelmed and disappointed, she was also really happy.  Good to know that my unconscious believes I'm capable of dealing with a lot of sh*t on our wedding day and still managing things beautifully.  I only wish that once, JUST ONCE, I could have a wedding dream where everything comes together exactly as planned.  *sigh*

What was the scariest/most hilarious/saddest/loveliest wedding dream you've had thus far?

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