Thursday, November 11, 2010

It's official!

Our officiant?  No.  Change in our relationship status?  No.  Signed a new vendor contract?  No.  So what could be official, you ask? 

{It's Mr. NM!}

1.75 years after coming out to me, 364 days after starting testosterone, and 8 months after having top surgery, Mr. NM is officially a mister.  A little over a week ago we went to court for his name and gender change hearing and got the official court order stating that he's legally male.  Now begins the more-fun-than-you-can-shake-a-stick-at process of getting all new documentation to reflect these changes. 

{so many forms!}

This has important, and mind-bending, ramifications for our relationship.  Now that Mr. NM is legally male, we can legally get married.  It's what I like to call the Marriage Loophole.  Before we went to court that morning we were a lesbian couple in the eyes of the law, with no ability to access the rights and responsibilities of state-sanctioned marriage.  But within just half an hour in front of a judge, well, now we can totally get married just like any other heterosexual couple.  Same two people, same relationship, same genetic hardware - but now we can be official.  [And just for fyi's sake, the Marriage Loophole works in the other direction as well.  If one member of a married heterosexual couple transitions genders, that couple is allowed to remain legally married even though they will appear to the world as a gay or lesbian couple.]

It blows my mind.  It has given me pause on numerous occasions.  And it has really made me evaluate my thoughts and feelings about marriage - what it means, what it's purpose is, and how I feel about accessing it. 

I will write more about my inner marriage turmoil later.  For now, I will focus on celebrating this amazing and truly life-changing event with (officially) Mister NM.

Did you know about the Marriage Loophole, and what do you think about it? 

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