Like many other smart, fiercely independent, confident, and perfectionistic people out there I am NOT good at delegating tasks NOR am I particularly good at working in groups. I'm somewhat ashamed to admit this, but all my life I've had an inner monologue in my head that goes something like this: "If I ask someone else to do something for me they will probably not do it to my standards. Then I'll end up disappointed and/or resentful, which could damage our relationship. Plus I'll then have to re-do it myself, and that will take even more of my time. So it's just easier to take on all these tasks myself that way I'll save time and be assured that the end product will be exactly what I want."
One of the first times I remember this coming up in mine and Mr. NM's relationship was around cleaning. One time he vacuumed the house while I was gone, and when I got home he said something to the effect of, "Can you take a look at the cleaning I did and tell me what I missed, because you tend to notice things that I don't." (btw... isn't he wonderful?!) But omg! He was prepared for me to criticize his efforts! Heartbreaking!
So I have taken on the herculean task (for me) of loosening the eff up - of consciously trying to have more faith in Mr. NM's ability to successfully complete tasks and to always give him the benefit of the doubt that he is doing a good job, even if he overlooks tiny details that I have a knack for spotting right away.
Wedding planning has presented its own challenge in this arena. It's been hard for me to back off my laser-like focus and vice-like grip on all the projects, tasks, deadlines, and ideas. But I'm happy to say that, when I have been able to *gasp* delegate... the outcome has been out-of-this-world thrilltastic!
So far Mr. NM has completed our wedding website (WAY more comprehensive than anything I would've thrown together), written a complete draft of our ceremony (he's SUCH good writer), contacted a million and one caterers (none of whom we ended up using), gotten quotes from about 10 different lighting designers (and is still working on this), researched honeymoon registries (can't believe I gave up control over research!), and researched photobooth options (agh! more loss of control). That's just what he's done SO FAR! He's also currently working on the programs, he'll be choosing his suit as well as half the wedding party attire, and he's going to construct some uber-important poles/supports needed for our decor.
[Side note: When I asked Mr. NM what his wedding tasks have been so that I made sure to include them all, he added, "free, unlimited, and 24-7 on-call emotional containment services for Ms. M (recognizing, of course, that several times needs for these services were triggered by yours truly)." What a guy!]
I have to say, this delegating business is not so bad and it's getting (incrementally) easier.
What projects have you been able to pass on to other people?